When is a child in what professionals call a “state of crisis”? The indicators vary from the subtle to the overwhelming: drug and/or alcohol abuse or dependence; anger, defiance, aggression; lack of self-esteem; isolation and computer overuse; anxiety, depression; ADD or ADHD; family conflict; academic underachievement or lack of motivation; negative peer groups and grief and loss.
“How did this happen? What can we do?”
There is no way to simplify the complex emotions that families experience as they struggle for the best solution – and try to remain optimistic for a successful outcome. Parents often describe a painful roller coaster of feelings, from helplessness, guilt and denial to fear, self-doubt and desperation.
Programs designed to treat the problems described above typically involve some sort of restricted environment, starting with the traditional boarding school all the way up to hospitalization – with a variety of options in between. Wilderness therapy programs, which involve the application of therapy in a wilderness setting, have proven particularly effective in treating the child in crisis.
“The basic idea behind these programs is to move the child physically and emotionally out of their comfort zone,” says Bar Clarke, director of special needs services for Connecticut-based Bertram Educational Consultants. “Then get them clean if that’s one of the issues, have them evaluated medically – and begin promoting positive change in a healthy environment.” Locations run the gamut, from Maine to Hawaii. There are also several therapeutic models used by these programs, so selecting a treatment path appropriate to the child’s situation can be a daunting task.
This was chillingly underscored in recent Congressional hearings, which highlighted deceptive marketing practices and instances of mental and physical abuse by a small number of boot camps and wilderness programs. According to testimony, these programs were marketing themselves with “credentials in therapy or medicine that they didn’t have” and so were unqualified to properly treat the children in their care. According to George Miller, chairman of the committee conducting the hearings, they were “taking advantage of parents desperate to find help for their children.”
Beware of non-professional or unqualified advice
Unfortunately, in any industry, there are always a few bad apples. But this “buying” decision will have profound implications for your child’s well-being. It is clearly not one you make on the internet or on the advice of friends, no matter how sensible it may seem. And, as Congressman Miller said, parents in this situation are often at the point of desperation, the worst possible state of mind for the careful research and evaluation required to make an informed decision.
As a result, many parents turn for guidance to independent consultants such as Bar, who was formerly headmaster of The Deck House School, a respected special needs boarding school in Maine. “We understand what these families are going through, the fear and helplessness many feel,” says Bar. “Some are ready to jump at anything that looks like a solution. But the wrong decision could put a child in an even worse situation. We want parents to know there is an answer. We’ve visited these programs and seen them in action. We know the founders, therapists, field staff and clinical directors and have spent time in the field, interacting with the kids. We put parents in touch with families whose kids have been through these programs. Coming to us is an investment in the knowledge that the program will deliver on what it’s promising, that the child will be in good, safe hands – and that the family will have someone they can trust working with them throughout the entire process.”
It’s important to note that members of the Independent Educational Consultants Association (IECA), as Bar is, must affirm that they have no affiliation with or bias toward any program – and that they do not receive payments or other benefits from any program they recommend.
Beware of cookie-cutter solutions
The best solution for a child in crisis may be a wilderness therapy program. Or it might be a residential treatment center or a summer program. “My goal is to work with families to find the best possible emotional and academic environment for their child, whatever that may be,” adds Bar. “Every case is completely unique. I want the whole family to be on the same page working towards the same end, but how we get there is always different for each child.”
One program might be perfect for the anxious child who isolates him or herself on a computer, but be totally ineffective for a manipulative, oppositional child. “The consultant’s role,” Bar observes, “is to help families determine the best fit for that child – and the most effective method for getting him or her back on track. We want that child to feel good about him or herself when they leave the program. My approach is to always try to match the child with the appropriate therapist, not necessarily with a specific program.”
Bar’s experience as headmaster and educator at a special needs school brings added insight to the services he provides. “I’m not your typical consultant and most kids I meet in person seem to sense right away that I’m not going to be another authority figure telling them what to do. You can see them relax. I can empathize with what they’re saying and hear them in a way that maybe mom and dad can’t.”
Bar Clarke can be reached at 207-380-2846 or JRClarke@cmbertramconsultants.com.